love | thy neighbor & yourself.

every now & then I have a moment when someone really just plain makes me so mad.
so mad, i could spit nails. [that would be a sight to see.]

i truly consider myself a hippie of some sort.
i love nearly everyone. [even after they may have done me wrong, we all make mistakes.]
i am kind of naive that way but also i think it makes me a stronger person & humble.
i truly do wish for peace on earth & all that other mumbo jumbo.
i am a lover. & when i have to fight i feel extremely guilty & mean.
[except maybe with my husband because he can put up an equally good fight]
& well, it just becomes comical at some point. [& we all need a good laugh.]

for those of you who don't know me personally, i am overweight.
yep, i said it. im a fatty, whale, whatever the hell else you want to say.
recently, i have had several people make reference to this.
some in a sly way [which is rediculously rude.], some in an outright obvious [still rude] way.
it hurt. it still hurts. better yet, it makes me sad for you. [& me.]
it makes me sad for you that you feel okay to look at another human being that way.
i am not judging in this post either, just asking you to love me for me.
if you are going to judge, let it be that i snort when something is really funny when i laugh.
[which my husband adores.]
or that i am a clean freak, perfectionist that can be neurotic at times.
or that i say sorry & thank you too much & dont ask for help nearly enough in life.
[it's a power struggle & i can thank my dad for that.] :)

i'm not perfect [nobody is.] but honestly being overweight is a sore spot for me, to say the least.
so i am here to set the record straight. to clear my name & also maybe to tell you that its okay to be fat.
it's not something i am proud of but i would rather be fat then many other things in life.

i am a young mom, of 3 girls all ages 5 and under.
i eat healthy, very healthy.
i eat a high fiber wrap filled with lots of sprouts, spinach, peppers, & more almost every single day.
i drink a ton of tea & water all day.
contrare to popular belief i do NOT sit around all day eating cupcakes, cookies, etc.
if i do treat myself, its rare & in moderation.
i teach my children to balance their diets, not use crash diets or be anorexic later in life.

i have heard plenty about me being a stay at home mom.
hmm, i would love to see anyone judging me do my job all day. [good luck with that.]
i have a VERY clean house, clean, dressed, fed, happy kids & i work to build my business.
i also make time to exercise, spend time with my family, do kind things for others & more.
who is lazy now? i can guarantee it's not me.
& no, i don't do drugs either. i am just VERY motivated to have a productive life.

i know this is such a rant & i am so sorry.
however, i do know a few people that will [& should] read this.
take it to heart & realize that you should love yourself which allows you to love others.
i can be critical like anyone else about my looks but i have learned to deal with it.
instead of judging on looks, love someone for the person they are, how they treat you & others.
honestly anyone who is mean to my kids is out the door, ASAP.
it's a true show of character.
love someone for being upfront with you, even if it hurts.
empty compliments are contagious these days & rediculously overrated.
give a compliment because you mean it, instead of letting the word vomit flow so freely.

so there you have it. my lesson of the day.
it's not even fair | or appropriate that i am sitting here defending myself.
i am not perfect but this is just one area where i have finally had enough.
if you are concerned about someone's weight, let it be for health reasons, not for your viewing pleasure.
oh & take a look in the mirror & realize that we all change.
for some of us it's more extreme but who cares?

SOOOO i am here to tell you to love yourself.
love your neighbor, love your body, love your kids, love your life.
things could be so much worse off.
i know several people battling illnesses | divorce | financial struggles & more right now.
i feel awful for even posting this in light of their struggles & pain.
say thank you, often. it makes a person feel so good to be thanked.
make a kind gesture toward someone else, dont just think about it...
it goes a LONG way for both you & them.

now you know, i love myself. i haven't always. but since i started, it's changed my life.
it's helped my marriage, it's made me a better mother, friend, etc.
i hate my big butt but love my big heart.
i hate my calves but love that i have the ability to walk & run still.

for those of you in my life who love me for me, thank you.
i am such a rich person for having you in my life.
i am blessed & lucky to know such wonderful people.
& to those of you that have said or done anything mean regarding my weight lately,
i forgive you but the words or actions are not lost on me & they did hurt.
& believe it or not, I can still love you | or at least like you.
i am sad that as a society this has become the norm..
& i hope i can change it, i am starting with my children.

much love to all of you.
tall | short | in between | overweight | thin | just right | sick | healthy | disabled | mean | nice | etc.....

be yourself & be proud.
love yourself & your neighbor.